Ramble ramble.......

You know? I dont think I have been this satisfied in a long time. By that I mean truly happy and truly content. It seems like when bad stuff fly's my way, I can get past it. Huge change. I couldnt be more thrilled about my car. Still debating on the personalized license plate.........we decided I would have to get CNDRELA?? I like it I guess.......I mean hell, after not driving for 2 years I SHOULD get what I really want. Any other suggestions on the license plate are greatly appreciated. Im still so stoked about Verizon getting the Razr phone. No kidding, I stared at it online for probably an hour!!! Tomorrow I go BACK to the doctor to find out if I have to have surgery......lets hope for a no that way I can fly to DC to see BUBBA!!

Ok, so Im still puzzled as to why the ex called Tuesday night and then called work asking about me. Good job outta the boss though. Ex tried to pluck her about Jacob and she simply said why dont you ask Amanda. Gotta love me some Beth. Its strange to me that after nearly 3 months of not talking but one other time, he calls me outta the blue, at midnight, and he is crying. I just dont get it. I doubt he told his girl either....I told Jacob, he laughed. Ex told me he drives by the office and thinks about stopping....doubt his girl knows that either. How sad is this? How sad is it that she thinks we didnt talk when "I broke up with him". Makes me laugh that he told everyone he broke up with me. Its so nice having someone who is not jealous and who I dont have to lie to. I truly did love him, but he had the nerve to say to me that he should have never told me he loved me because it wasnt "Gods love overflowing onto me" WHAT THE FUCK! Did he forget about Adam and Eve? When Eve took a bite of that apple God left us to make our own choices........we're not puppets!!! And how sorry he was because his selfishness took me away from God?! I really wasnt upset, but it buggs me that people use their religion like a cult. As I was listening to him speak of God, Gods love, and so on, I couldnt help but wonder if he had ever actually thought about this stuff or accepted what he was spoon fed. Id hate to say it, but I think this new found love he has found is actually his Lust/Love for his new Girlfriend. Dont get me wrong, I am an extremely spiritual and God fearing lady. Dont tell me I dont love the lord because I enjoy a good night out either. That is so stupid. People focus WAYYY to much on drinking like thats all the bible talks about. "THOU SHALT NOT DRINK....." ITS NOT IN THERE! Tells you not to get drunk.....tells you to keep the sabath day holy....which is Saturday....who does that? Hum....and that the ONLY unforgivable sin is Blasphmy, but after Christ once you accept all is washed clean. I love my savior, but I dont turn around and try to slam that in others faces. People at work tell me all the time how spiritual I am, I try to encourage them to do the same. No one is perfect, we all suck sometimes. Ex tried to tell me that you should strive for perfection? Where did these people miss that Jesus was the only perfect human to ever walk the face of this earth? It has been 3 months since his baptism, and I do not believe 3 months time gives you the right to look down upon others. The horrible things he said about his friends, some who think he is their "best friend" made me sick. It has bugged me all week. Do I tell them what he said? Or let it go? It just doesnt seem right. His opinion really does not matter to me anymore, but to talk about one of my best friends? Someone who thinks that they are his? Terrible. Im sad about this. THEN! He starts crying and says " so I hear your dating someone? " and Im thinking YES AND SO ARE YOU SUCK IT UP! He then goes on about how Jacob has been married. I told him that we dated for 3 years and our relationship was probably 100 times more serious than theres was. 2 Years ago I would have easily married him...and we would be divorced today. People make mistakes. I couldnt imagine living a life that kept you from accepting all types of people. My friend base is so wide and it is wonderful. I have friends on all ends of the spectrum and each one teaches me something and makes me a better person. If I didnt care about someone because they were gay, or had a drinking problem, or were too conservative, or too dramatic ect....I would miss so much of life. I guess after talking with mom today about her relationship with dad, i am so grateful that I didnt stay with ex any longer. I should have broke up with him 2 years ago but I have learned alot i guess. I will never be a closeminded judgemental girl and for that I am truly grateful. Im so glad I got to make my own choices...good...and bad.