CONFUSION!!!
Yup, that's my word for today! I am soooo confused right now about life, boys, friends, family, locations, schools.....EVERYTHING! I just want to go lay on a beach with a huge Pina Colada and say F'it all!!! Besides, its all going to work itself out in the end right!? I wish people could learn how to be honest. It took me a long time to get it right, but then even being honest sometimes gets you into trouble. Im so tired of shady people as well. I have no room for them in my life anymore. I have decided to stop wasting time on people who pretend to care, but when you need them where are they? OPPSE! Pride is a terrible thing when you have too much of it....its sad actually because They aren't there.........yup.....but fortunately I have plenty that are so IM not cryin about it. For those of you who dont know the major event that happened Friday, you will have to ask me about it. I think I am still numb.......it hasn't hit me yet....Actually, I think it has hit me but I don't really know how I feel about it. Its so sad that the last time we were all together by far was the greatest day of my life. All I ever wanted was for all of us to be together and get along and be happy.........Maybe I will have to save that for my own future. THIS has yet again caused too much confusion. I mean, what is the point of getting in a serious relationship, getting married, having a family, and then in the end getting divorced? It seems like EVERYONE gets divorced these days. This is not a word I want to be associated with, but! I cant guarantee that I will fall for the right guy? Seriously, all relationships are great at first! I believe you can make them work, but you have to put work into them. People are just so damn lazy these days when it comes to that. They seem to think its just going to "happen". Why would I want another one when after 3 years with the old guy I felt like I was all alone and didn't matter? Why would anyone choose to make someone they loved "feel" that way? I don't want that drama ever again. IM perfectly happy dating multiple guys.....(I said dating, not anything more get your mind out of the gutter) and feeling wanted. That's all us girls care about, feeling special, safe, and important. Why is that so hard to grasp?! Do you realize how many relationships die because of that? Trust me, relationship drama has CONSUMED my life this past two weeks. Friendship, Boys, and Family.............DRAMA!!!!!!! I hate it!!! Maybe this is why I no longer wanted to be a theater major..............Ok done venting and back to work I go.
posted by AmandaMae @ 9:03 AM
11 Comments:
so tell me.....how do you REALLY feel? please don't hold back on me.
Wow, sounds like you have a lot of trouble with people. Ever wonder if maybe it's you?
How about I do not have trouble with people whatsoever.....thank you "supposivly anonymous PJ".
I figured out what happened and I feel horrible for you. But, I know as hard as this can be, it will only make you a stronger person. I'm here to lean on if you need me.
You don't have trouble with people? Ok... guess I am reading words that aren't there.
No offense, but I have read a few of your posts... and it seems like "confusion" is your word of the day everyday. I am not trying to downplay whatever troubles you are having in your life, but your rant seems to be the same thing everytime just re-hashed into different words. As a result, I can only assume that this is an extrememly important issue to you and maybe you feel that you are not getting your point across to your audience. Or, perhaps it is therapeutic for you to express your feelings through this blog. Again, do not take this personally. I am in no way trying to keep you from posting on the same topics multiple times as it is not my place to say what you should or should not post. Either way, I hope your situation improves, and I am sure it will. Keep your head up. Self-loathing can be sometimes have more adverse effects than the actual problems themselves. Trust me, I can speak from personal experience on that one. I had a couple rough semesters in college, which really had me depressed. Once I hit a low point, I forced myself to work through it and realized that it really wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be in my head. Godd luck.
Hey Business....believe it or not things are great right now for me personally...Im so content and things are flowing along nicly. I realize it'll all work out. I guess it seems like I am vague alot of times simply because I know people who read this and I try not to start a commotion. Its not theraputic for me to blog about politics/sports/or even stupid jokes. So yeah, I guess you could say I use my blog to vent. Its basically for me, not really for anyone else. I believe that everyone goes through a stage in their life when they question what direction they want it to go in....sounds like you've been there as well :-) Something changed in my life on Friday that changes alot, so yes, I am confused, but not depressed. When people I love are hurting, I try to do everything I can to help them.....and this time there really is nothing I can do.....therefore causing confusion!! :-)
Business: You had a "low" point in college? Please, spare me. The time you found out Shyne was going to jail and wouldn't be releasing any more albums does not classify as a depressive state of mind. Suck it up big boy. But should you ever find yourself in this situation again, just put on your John Stamos mp3 and everything should immediately get better.
True, the Shyne blow was hard to get over. I think you're negating that loss far more than it's worth... On the other hand... John Stamos featuring the Beach Boys... I can hear it now... echoing down the hallways of Simmons honors dormitory on full blast and seriously pissing off all the Geeks, Dorks, and Spazs who lived there for at least 4, maybe 6 hours... too bad the door was locked suckers. Certainly, a high point in my life, to be sure.
Oh yeah, I forgot Nerds, too.
Maybe the reason they always bounced the basketball on your wall was because of the John Stamos?
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